My 2012.

Since it’s near the end, I guess it’s time for us to start back from the beginning and recount 2012 as a whole. This post is going to be terribly long, but i’d really appreciate it if you’d read it all. It’s not very well written, as I’m just kind of rambling on, just so you know. 

I changed so much as a person in so little time, it’s astonishing to look back to the person that I was. I was timid, quiet, afraid to try new things, and simply a person I didn't like at all. I struggled with many kept secrets and wanted so badly to let go of a lot of things so that I could start feeling good about myself and how I perceived myself and how I wanted others to perceive me. I’m slowly getting there and I know that I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for certain people in my life…and no matter if we aren't all together or if we’re not all friends now, I could never regret anything that happened. I visited different places and met new friends. I appreciate the life that I have now and I’m glad I haven’t died yet…there is just so much waiting for me.

2012 has been the most interesting year of my existence thus far and the anticipation to what 2013 has to offer is almost too much to bare. I want this year to be over so I can start fresh again. (allyourlight tumblr)

Forgive.

        Forgiveness is a term that has become so foreign to us. In our daily interactions with various human beings, we consistently err due to our many imperfections. We hurt each other intentionally or unintentionally in all directions because of our misconduct. If we each contemplated on just how many people we have hurt and how much we are in need of their forgiveness, we would not be as stingy in forgiving all those who have wronged us.

      We like judging others and their faults, while remaining blind to our own shortcomings. We rack our memories for the one time we helped a fellow human being, but easily forget how many times we have wronged them. A true believers mind should be humbled and occupied with trying to fix their own deficiencies to the point that they do not have the time to raise their head to focus on the faults of others.

        It is even more fascinating how we fool ourselves into thinking we are gracious and forgiving. We say by our tongue that we forgive a person, yet we act contrary to this. We start talking behind that person’s back and ruin their reputation. I’ve seen horrific examples in our communities where one family has some conflicts with another family, resulting in bad mouthing and back-biting for years. You could live thousands of miles away from either family, and are still bound to hear something negative about one family or the other. It is so upsetting and disturbing how we let our tongues loose, and not realise how much we hurt people by it. We might even be a step higher in our act of forgiveness that we do not mention a person’s faults to others, but we still choose to distance ourselves from them. This is wrong as well. How would we feel if God distanced Himself from us for every sin we committed?

       

Forgive. Don’t retaliate. Let God do His work.

Nahum 1:2-3

     God is jealous, and the Lord revengeth; the Lord revengeth, and is furious; the Lord will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies. The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

         Then, don’t hold back the love you have received, beloved. Don’t hold back that forgiveness. It was meant to be released. Open your heart to Jesus, and let Him move freely in you. Allow the changes He is making in your heart. There are major renovations. He is taking away the anger, sweeping out the guilt, and driving out the fear. I know that you may not be used to these being absent, but you’re better off without them, beloved. God is replacing them with hope, love, compassion, kindness and faith.

       Forgive, beloved, because you were not designed to keep that resentment inside of you. It has never been in your nature to keep those feelings too long inside. It only makes things harder. You know what, since the day you accepted Christ, you are being transformed to be more and more like Him. Thus, forgiveness comes out naturally from you. Love comes out naturally from you. These are not born out of our efforts, though. They are fruits, because we abide in Christ.

        Forgive, beloved. Not because it is an obligation, but because it is a necessity. This great love that you have received from Jesus can never be caged inside. It won’t be stuck inside you, just for you. It has to come out. You are not just a storage, you are also a channel. Don’t miss the privilege. Let love out.

“Forgiveness will not be possible until compassion is born in our heart. Even if you want to forgive, you cannot forgive. In order to be compassionate, you have to understand why the other person has done that to you and your people. You have to see that they are victims of their own confusion, their own worldview, their own grieving, their own discrimination, their own lack of understanding and compassion.”

—           Thich Nhat Hanh

Forgiveness will bring you happiness.

-godsradicaldaughter.tumblr.com

What I've learned so far in life

These are the good ol' days.

There's a little exercise I love to do, especially when I'm frustrated and wondering what the heck life is all about....

I close my eyes and imagine that I'm 95 years old now. I really feeeel it. My life has gone by and it's almost over; a photo album, some stories, memories, accomplishments, loved ones. I've gotten used to feeling achy and tired. I spend much of my day just getting up and around. My kids are all grown and aged themselves. Most of my lifetime friends are gone. My parents are dead.

And here I am, looking back, thinking how wonderful it would be if I could go back in time and taste some of it again; maybe do things differently. To be young again, to be healthy and strong again, to have a lifetime of opportunity before me again, to play with my kids or grandkids again while they were still children. To hug my parents and friends again. To say thank you again. To help. To appreciate. To love. What a gift it would be to relive part of my past. I really feel what it's like to be 95 years old now.

And then I say, "Please, God, let me go back in time. Let me be young again and appreciate all I had. Please." And then, when I'm really longing for it and feeling like that life is a dream that will never really come true, and my life is really almost over... I open my eyes.

Try it some time. If you're like me, you'll experience the total blessing of being here, right now.

Ever notice that the good ol' days of our lives are somehow always in the past? I try to remember, despite whatever challenges are facing me, whatever better future is eluding me, that these are probably the times I'll look back on - even if they're hard times - and say, "Wow, what an amazing time that was."

I've also come to believe that the worst and hardest times are often the times of greatest transformation and learning. And when plans don't unfold the way we imagined, when things go terribly wrong, the universe is simply realigning our course. I try to practice acceptance and have faith that it will all turn out somehow.

And when I look back on the worst times and tragedies of my life, I can't help but notice all the blessings that logically resulted, and that things never turn out nearly as badly as I had feared.

So I remind myself never to worry about things I can't control. To worry is to suffer by living in the future. And the future is unpredictable.

Are you hurt now? Have you lost your life savings now? Are you alone now? Or are you perfectly safe, warm, and healthy, imagining a bad thing that might happen tomorrow?

If the bad thing doesn't happen, you will have tormented yourself in vain. And if it does, worrying could not have prevented it anyway. And right now, whatever may be going on, it's all happening in the good ol' days.

Shared by: Chris Balthasar, a financial advisor and consultant.

Painted Lolo and Lola's day.

     It’s been a long time since I first planned this but we finally got our lolo and lola’s house painted.  It looks amazing!  I changed the ambiance, color scheme and I love it. Unfortunately due limited time we only had about 2 color schemes done, inside and outside.  I’m happy with it.

    I picked a separate color scheme inside and outside the house which looks very nice.  The trim was cracking and had faded to a weird orange color.  The house looks ok now!  I hope our grandparents like it.

I had my cousins, Jon and Sam working with me. These guys did a much better job than the builders did when they painted it.  Getting the house painted also fixed another annoying thing about the house. 

The House before it was painted

Inside the house

Before

Mixing the paint with Bitoy

Alvin John doing his job

The Wall after

Painting the facade

Aftermath

Finishing touches of Ptr. Sam

\my cousins with Lolo Tanking and Lola Lesing